Category Archives: What Do You Think? Wednesday

Maximize Your Time

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When you think about the flow of time it remains steady, speeding up or slowing down for no one. This can always be our dilemma. We either want to rush to get to the next project, person or season or we want more time to complete what we are having a hard time finishing. This is the case for most I know, even strong black women recovering from being strong black women. So how can we reconcile time with our tasks? We first have to know that time doesn’t change so we must.

“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16).

In essence these Scriptures tell us to be wise with our time by redeeming it, which means we must know “how to regulate (our) course in view of movements in the heavens or of God” by exchanging our time.* So we are to use time according to activities in the spiritual realm and what God tells us. In order to have enough time to fulfill our spiritual activity and direction, we must reallocate time from anything that has nothing to do with these. Cease the nonsense and put time toward what makes sense.

1) In order to know what God is doing in the spiritual realm and what He wants us to do, we have to spend time with God. Pray, fast, read the Bible, study the Bible and any other spiritual discipline that connects us to Him. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).

2) When we know what God is saying then we must ask Him how much time to spend on each task. Pray “give me this day my daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). There is only so much we can do at a time and He will tell us what that is.

3) Don’t feel guilty about the items that used to be on your To Do list. Our list is different because we are regulating our course according to activities in the spiritual realm and God. Some people may be upset and you may even be disappointed that what you used to spend your time doing and who you used to spend your time with has changed. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant* of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). You are a servant of God. You are to please Him.

I am not advocating an ascetic life where you abandon all the activities of this world. In order to fulfill your part in what’s happening in the heavenlies you may have to have a spa day with that unsaved friend. God may have you minister to her this way to prepare her to hear from you when you are supposed to lead her to Christ. You have to build a rapport with people, not ram the Word down their throats. And you can only build a rapport with people if you are around people. God will give you the wisdom about who, what, when, where, how, and maybe even why. We are just required to obey.

God gives us enough time for what He has called us to do, so that what’s done in heaven can be done on earth (Luke 11:2). If we find we don’t have enough time, WE are either not following God’s plan or not trusting God’s plan. We may not feel like we have enough time or that there is still more to do. But if we follow what God says and how He tells us to do it—even if the task seems incomplete—He can use what we have done in whatever state our work is in.

Is your life chaotic because of mismanagement of time? What do you do to manage your time? Please, let me know what you think about my plan to help you maximize your time.

*Lexical Aids to the New Testament in Key Word Study Bible, Spiros Zodhiates, executive editor.

Failed Fight?

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The day didn’t go as I had hoped. As the mediator of a conflict, the two parties didn’t see eye to eye. At the end of the meeting one even said, “It’s not going to change.”

In another relationship I have, a woman has experienced more than her share of emotional highs and lows, always knowing when she’s doing wrong but not desiring to do right. “I don’t want to stop,” she said.

Another who sought my help to help her get disciplined rarely completed the assignments I gave her, often saying “I didn’t have time to do it.”

In each of these instances I was disappointed but I recognized that I wanted more for these three ladies than they wanted for themselves. With that I knew I couldn’t do any more directly unless they decided to want a change or the Holy Spirit unveiled their blinded eyes (2 Peter 1:9, John 12:40). Knowing that God can use me but the Holy Spirit is the arbiter of their souls brings me comfort, keeps me focused and prevents me from shunning the next person with a seemingly larger than life issue. When I have suffered long and given my best I leave the rest up to God.

How do you respond to people you’re trying to help whose actions say they don’t want your help? Do you suffer long or tend to toss them at their first sign of resignation? Please, tell me what you think.

Joy as a Weapon

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

Some definite things move me: the depth and beauty of God’s word, His creation, my husband’s sweet talk and words that dance off a page begging me to embrace them. Oh, how I love words so good writers presenting a good message make me sit back, curl up and smile. This is what author Patricia Raybon, a strong writer, master storyteller and, above all, a Christian unashamed of her faith, does for me.

Author Patricia Raybon

You may recall that I wrote a bit about how her memoir My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love, and Forgiveness prepared me to meet my first white friend, again. Today I am pleased to be a stop on Raybon’s virtual book tour for her latest book, The One Year® daily devotional God’s Great Blessings that is encouraging, yet challenging, me. I believe the following excerpt will challenge you to let go of your strong black woman persona and long for God’s strength instead. Please, tell me what you think.

Fight Back With Joy
By Patricia Raybon

She’s laughing. Even though her home is a wreck. She’s laughing. Even though her kitchen looks lousy. Paint colors all wrong. Fabric choices breaking her budget. When the wood cabinets finally arrive—several weeks late—both the size and grain completely miss the mark.

“But I’m laughing,” says the TV host of the home renovation show, giggling into the camera. “It’s how I deal with setbacks,” she explains. “I mean, you have to laugh. It gets me back on track.”

It’s a timely philosophy. Joy imparts strength. For wise Black women, however, joy in the Lord activates His strength. In our lives. In our circumstances. Even in our kitchens. Both big and small.

Speaking to His disciples, Jesus put it this way: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart”—be of good cheer—“because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) We love that promise, indeed.

But why would joy in Him—and not courage or bravery or boldness—deliver the strength of almighty God? Could it be the illogic of the principle? That the beauty of joy is so winsome and unexpected that it’s disarming?

No enemy expects a foe to fight back with joy.

Yet there’s something strangely powerful about joy. About laughing in the face of a storm. About sizing up your enemy but knowing that, compared to God, your enemy is powerless. About staring up at a mountain and accessing its peaks, crags and valleys, but knowing—as you laugh—the mountain can’t overcome God’s power. Is this rationalizing? Or denial? Or is it wisdom?

“I have told you this so you will be filled with my joy,” Jesus told His disciples in the upper room (John 15:11). “Yes, your joy will overflow!” Then as His joy flows, your enemies flee. Can you laugh at that? Try it today. Then don’t be surprised when your victory follows.

Award-winning author Patricia Raybon’s newest book is the One Year® daily devotional God’s Great Blessings, which includes this reflection on strength in joy. She is also author of two acclaimed memoirs, My First White Friend and I Told the Mountain to Move. She also collaborated with calligrapher Timothy Botts in his upcoming gift book honoring African American spirituals, Bound for Glory. Learn more at her website: PatriciaRaybon.Com.

Get Courageous

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Courageous father Nathan meets Derrick, a boy interested in his daughter Jade

What Do You Think? Wednesday
I don’t know who concerns me more, wishy washy or people pleasing people. Or maybe my concern lies more with exaggerators and hasty and hesitant folks. Or maybe I can’t make up my mind which concerns me more because none of these groups seems to be able to make up their minds to stick with an honorable decision and to be okay with that. In most instances, they lack virtue, a quality that is sorely missing in society at large and seems particularly challenging for youths.

When I was young I took modern dance and gymnastics and gave them up for Saturday morning cartoons and a body a little more chunky than the average body type. I refused to take piano lessons though my grandfather practically begged me and said he would pay for the lessons. I quit the high school newspaper staff after a conflict with the teacher. Don’t get me wrong: I was in the National Honor Society, senior class secretary and president of a teen leadership group. I stuck to some things, but I wish I had the courage, fortitude, resolution, all biblical definitions of virtue, to finish some of those things that I quit. Now that I’m older, instead of trying to be in everything, I seek to have virtue concerning what really matters, particularly my faith and family. This is the message of Courageous, the new box office hit movie that presents what I believe to be holistic Christians seeking to fully live out their faith. Though the central focus is on five men striving to be the best fathers, and, by extension for some, husbands they can be, this movie challenges all to step up and be more than “good enough,” as main character Adam Mitchell referred to his role as father. With humor injected throughout the heartfelt (even some heartbreaking) scenes, this drama causes visceral reactions.

“It made us cry; it made us laugh; it made us cling to our neighbor’s hand; it made us want more, more of the movie and also more as a man to become a better father, not just good enough,” says Musings reader and one of my mentees, Kamil Pitts, referring to her and her husband, Gary. “We wanted to be more not just for our own kids but for our fatherless and motherless youth around us. What would happen if we all just took action as mothers and fathers, doing what we are called to do—not just the basics but our very best? I’m ready for a resolution.”

If you haven’t seen Courageous yet, I encourage you to do so. Also, all you women ready like Kamil for a resolution to be a strong biblical woman, I challenge you to join me in reading “The Resolution for Women,” by Priscilla Shirer. You can even go to her blog to participate in the online book club, too. When you see the movie and read the book, please let me know what you think.

Courageous, the fourth film from Sherwood Pictures, the moviemaking ministry of Sherwood Baptist Church in Albany, Georgia, opened last weekend in theaters across the country and Canada. Go to the Courageous website for more information.

Spiritual Life Insurance

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

She called me in desperation, wanting answers for why she does what she knows to be wrong and doesn’t do the right she knows she should do. This is an age-old question that you might remember the Apostle Paul wanted to know about himself (Romans 7:15-25). He asked “(W)ho shall deliver me from the body of this death?” In other words, “How can I live for God?” He concluded his self-dialogue with this: “I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” And Paul thanks God because he knows that our flesh and even our spirit apart from the power of the Holy Spirit (God the Spirit), which God the Father sent God the Son (Jesus) to this earth to leave with us, in us. We forget the Spirit of God lives in us and we can call on Him to help us live for God. Instead, we seek to follow a set of rules in our own will power (which so many strong black women try to do) and we fail because we don’t follow the Holy Spirit’s leading. And the Spirit leads us to what we need to add to our faith, those necessary components that strengthen our salvation walk. I believe many of us miss these areas that are pertinent to our spiritual growth. Read my latest column in EEW Magazine to read about these components and see how you can implement them in your own life as you teach to your children. Don’t forget to leave a comment below telling me what you think about the article and other ways we can leave our children spiritual life insurance.