Category Archives: What Do You Think? Wednesday

Special Obligation: We Must Die

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

In order to live, something has to die. We see this in all of nature. Animals kill other animals so they can live. Humans kill animals to give life to humans. Even vegetarians eat fruits and vegetables that have begun to slowly lose their nutrients after they are picked. That’s a death so vegetarians can live. Death is a part of the cycle of life. Just like something has to die in the physical to give physical life, the same is true in order to give spiritual life. The physical body has to die so that the spiritual man might live. Christians are obligated to die to their physical bodies so their spirit might live and they are obligated to explain this process to nonbelievers.

Everyone needs to know that God the Father sent Jesus—God the Son—to die so that we might live. But just like taking in the food for it to be effective, we must take Jesus in. We can’t just have as a fact that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of mankind, which means each of us personally, but we must confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that Jesus did this for us. We do this after acknowledging that we are dead (that we continuously sin when we don’t want to but are incapable of restraining ourselves) and want life and that Jesus is the only one who can give us this life according to His own testimony (Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6-7). Some say Jesus never said He was God. True. He didn’t say it literally but He spoke metaphorically and the people understood exactly what He was saying (John 6:26-58, 8:58-59 and 10:32-42). A perfect God took on a body and lived a perfect human life to die for my imperfect life that I might live through Him. What an awesome God!

In gratitude to His awesome work, we are obligated to the awesome work of dying to ourselves—our desires, actions and thoughts—that don’t bring God glory. No one wants to die but dying is the only way that we get life, a full, vibrant, peaceful and productive one all given from the Son. So if something seems not to be working in your life you just may be in the process of dying so that life can spring forth. If things aren’t working out and you haven’t made a conscious decision to die, surely God is working on your behalf to rid your life of those dead things blocking the life He wants to bring. Don’t fight the dissolution of unhealthy friendships or the removal from certain circumstances. This may be God’s strategic move to help you through the death cycle. Let God have His way. Choosing spiritual life is up to you (Deuteronomy 30:19).

What do you think needs to die so that you have the spiritual life God intends for you to have? Also, why don’t you read the posts at the following links that talk about life and death? Please, tell me what you think.

What Whitney Houston Taught Us in Life & Death

A Good Cut Can Do Wonders

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift for a Mother

Special Obligation: Have Mercy

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

My mom is scheduled to come live with me next week and I welcome the challenge. I didn’t immediately feel this way. I shared with you on Monday my challenge to flow in the season God has me in. So when my home was the logical choice for her to transition back on her own after spending six weeks in the hospital with several issues and at least three near-death experiences and another seven weeks in a rehabilitation facility, I had a hard time; I didn’t imagine my life caring for a 2, 4, 9 and 70 year old. I figured I was just too early for the sandwich generation. And I was mad that my mom’s lifestyle contributed to her illnesses and thought, “If she had only heeded her children’s warnings then maybe she would still be living on her own.” And then I thought about how my mom’s mantra had always been “I did it my way” and I would have a hard time being gracious in my home where I did things my way. But God reminded me that I am too focused on what my mom doesn’t do and what I do and this type of control, this type of self-righteousness, gets all of us recovering strong black women in trouble.

We get so mad when our loved ones don’t live according to God’s standards but we fail to look at the greatness of God’s mercy. We say we don’t understand how they can continue in their sin, but we fail to focus on how merciful God has been to them in their sin. We want to shout and curse at them for not getting their act together, but we should be shouting and praising God for His capacity to withhold judgment until they get their act together. Instead of consistently scolding our loved ones about sin perhaps we should be sharing God’s mercy with them, in our approach and in our content (Psalm 103:8-11; Proverbs 15:1). Perhaps the weight of His mercy will cause them to consider their state and surrender to God’s will. Maybe we should just have mercy.

Mercy is my special obligation to my mom; mercy is the special obligation for the Christian. When we have mercy we exhibit the epitome of God in a dark world that will one day experience His justice. Perhaps our mercy will lead them into the arms of God and away from His eventual wrath (Romans 2:1-16; Hebrews 10:31). Surely, we can deny ourselves, take up our cross of mercy and follow God in hopes that our loved ones will follow Him too. After all, our lives are about giving God glory.

What loved one do you need to show mercy to? How is God speaking to you through this word? Please, tell me what you think.

Special Obligation: Do Your Best

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What Do You Think? Wednesday
Monday I began a raw food program that I have been excited about for six months, but as the day unfolded my excitement folded and all I wanted to do was scream. First, my payment registered late so I got my instructions late, got my groceries late, ate my meals late, missed appointed times of exercise, and started the boys’ school day late. I didn’t want to talk, not even to my best friends; I was frustrated, miserable and pitiful.

Finally, with nothing else left to do, I decided to cry out to the Lord. He sent His word, healed me and delivered me out of my destruction (Psalm 107:19-20): He said, “Did you do the best you could do today? Well, that’s all I ask.” With that I was settled, seasoned and done. God added what I needed to my mixed up day and left me the missing ingredient that would have overpowered the others tossed into the mix. I had done my best. I could not control the payment or instructions arrival, the time I was able to get groceries or when I ate the meals or exercised. I emailed. I called. I searched my refrigerator for food on hand. None of these landed me where I wanted to be, but I did do what I could do. And that’s what God asks us all. He has given us a certain amount of talent and ability and He expects us to use to the fullest what He gives us (Matthew 25:13-29). We can do no more and should do no less than that. We have a special obligation to do our very best. Anything less than that or even lamenting about not being able to do better than our best is sin.

Don’t let the sin of perfectionism that so often plagues recovering strong black women—strong women period—keep you from settling into your very best. Remember, we can only bring under control that which is ours to control. God gives us what we can handle and He is the barometer for doing our very best.

What have you done to be your very best? Were your methods within your control? What were your results? Please, tell me what you think.

Special Obligation: Remember Your Identity

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This game they play never changes, but my son Nathaniel gets scared every time. He’s three and stocky and throws his weight around on Joshua, my 9 year old, and on Justus, my 2 year old, not knowing his own power. I call him my “chunky monkey” and this is when the throwing stops and the leaning into me begins. Hearing “chunky monkey” makes him want to cuddle and kiss, to rest from the rest of the world; the sound of love comforts him. He knows that Mama loves him, all of him, and he rests in that. But when he and Joshua, at Nathaniel’s prompting, play the game of ghost, there seems to be nothing I can say to get Nathaniel to not be afraid.

Sometimes Joshua covers himself with a blanket. Other times he simply presents himself to Nathaniel with increasingly loud and longer ghost sounds: “Oooo…Oooooo…Oooooooo.” And every time Nathaniel comes to me with some expression of fright. Always running to me crying or on the verge of tears he says, “I’m scared,” “It’s a ghost,” or “Joshua scared me.” I tell him, “It’s Josh. See. It’s just Joshua. You know who he is. Why are you afraid?” Then I know the answer because we grown (recovering) strong black women do what Nate does too.

We recognize the devil or someone’s flesh in operation and we get afraid. We don’t cower like Nate, but instead of resting in Jesus—allowing Him to fight our battles, we gear up and do our own bidding. We, out of fear of being conquered, seek to fight our own way. We, so deft at making a way and saving the day, move out of fear. We forget who the enemy is; we forget who God is; and we forget who we really are.

• Satan is defeated (Hebrews 2:14).
• God is defeater (Revelation 1:18).
• We belong to God so the victory is already ours (1 Corinthians 15:57).

I said the victory is already ours. Sometimes we have to wait on a word from God to make a move or know when to be still or keep our mouths shut or when to follow our gut. We have to let God tell us what to do in that new moment because the old instructions just might not do (Remember Moses striking instead of speaking to the rock—Compare Exodus 17:5-6 to Numbers 20:7-12). We can’t let our enemies’ sounds and appearances make us fear to strike instead of speak. Sounds and appearances are just costumes of the weak used to fool us into thinking we’re weak. We cannot be fooled, can’t afford to be fooled to fight with our flesh. Doing so negates our best—our God-given power to navigate and squash the mess that comes our way. We have an obligation to remember who the enemy is, remember who God is and to remember who we are. This is how we live a victorious life and free from the demands of fear.

What has fear caused you to do? What do you do to remember who you really are? Please, tell me what you think.

Costly Worship

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

In the kitchen stirring steel cut oats, a breakfast Joshua requested, he asked me about what seemed strange for someone to do: “Why did that lady put that stuff on Jesus’ head?” For the day’s school work he was reading Mark 14:1-9 when Mary of Bethany did the unthinkable, the seemingly unimaginable. She poured expensive perfume, a year’s salary, clean out its box and right onto Jesus’ hair. Others there sneered at her act, probably thought she was crazy wasting what could have been her livelihood for the coming months. But in a few minutes she poured out her best, all for Jesus. And Joshua, like the people—who counted Mary’s money like they had the right to decide what should be done with the proceeds from the perfume’s sell—wanted to know the meaning of this.

Jesus explained that Mary did this before He died, that she was preparing for Jesus’ death while He was still alive. You probably already know this but in Jesus’ day dead bodies were prepared for burial by being anointed with perfume and spices to preserve them. But Mary did this while Jesus still had breath in His body, giving off life right in her presence. Perhaps Mary was saying Jesus would always be alive with her, that she would not let Him die but take in His breath, take in His life, while He was yet living. Once she had Him in her presence there He would stay. She wanted the best to remain with her and loved him so that she gave him her best. Giving her best was the meaning of her outpouring and it doesn’t seem she thought twice about it.

So in the kitchen, among steel cut oats and a Bible story about a woman desperate to have Jesus, I tell Joshua that we too must be desperate, seek to be excellent, for Jesus. We have to give our best with our handwriting, in our time, in our talk, in whatever we do. This is how we keep Jesus with us, breathing life through us, showing the world that He is right with us. Being excellent—giving Jesus our best—is the Christian obligation. This we must do in honor of Jesus.

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.—Romans 12:1 (NLT)

We were created for this before creation itself (Ephesians 1:4, 10-14). With Jesus loving on us better than anyone loving on us how could excellent worship not be our obligation? Please, tell me what you think.