Category Archives: What Do You Think? Wednesday

Not My Own

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

In the midst of fruit snacks, brother spats, show and tell and tattle tells, I wrote the sermon, at least most of it, for a message at Kingdom Builders Christian Church in Redford, Michigan last Saturday. God had been speaking to my spirit for two weeks “speak life.” This is what He wanted me to tell the women. This is what He wanted them to do. This is what He wanted me to get. He wanted me to speak life, the one He has for me that is wrapped up in Him: Continue reading →

But God

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

I was a liar and loose, totally set apart for Satan’s use.
I did what I wanted when I wanted
Didn’t care what others thought about it.
I was a maverick
Set in my ways
I planned my days
Then Christ stepped in.

Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil–the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)(Ephesians 2:1-5, emphasis mine)

But God saved me and He continues to save me:

I would have cussed her out, but God
I would have socked his jaw, but God
I would have stewed in anger, but God
I would have rolled my eyes, but God
I would have killed my kids, but God
I would have stared a hole through you, but God
I would have nagged him to death, but God

But God is the difference between literal and figurative heaven and hell—a life eternally without Him and a life right now without Him. Through Jesus’ death, we who accept Christ as Savior and Lord, have God’s Spirit to help us say yes when we want to say no, shut our mouths when we want to open them, smile when we want to frown, speak life when we want to offer words of death. Jesus, as Savior and Lord, is the difference that we need. Praise God for But God!

What is your but God moment, the moment that God stepped in to remind you of who you are and how you are to behave and then reminding you of the power you have to obey? Please, tell me what you think.

You Have the Sunshine

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What Do You Think? Wednesday
When you have no human place to go you always have that spirit place, that place where you should travel first, right to the feet of Jesus. And this is where I found myself Monday night in my bed in tears with fist hitting my pillow after a day of blowing my nose raw, rallying boys for meals and away from melees, encouraging them to complete work, getting mom more ice cream and on and on and on. On this night, two days after spending the night in the hospital with my newly discovered asthmatic 2 year old, three days with scattered sleep and three days without a shower I cried out to God, told Him I was tired and I didn’t want to be sick and that I was spent from giving and giving and giving and what did I have? I just wanted to get some rest and eat some choice foods and I had none of these. What do I have?

Like only God can, with His infinite wisdom and considerate care for my needs, not just my wants, He said so gently, “You have the sunshine.” I immediately thought about the scripture that says God shines the sun on the evil and the good when Jesus was telling His disciples to have mercy on their enemies because He does (Matthew 5:44-45). I didn’t know what that had to do with me. So he repeated, “You have the sunshine” then somehow I knew God was saying I had something bigger, something better, something more than rest and choice foods that my weariness had me longing for. I had a magnanimous blessing that I could never get for myself. If I could see the sun, I had life. I am living and breathing enough to give me another chance to live life, to make it better, to take a shower, eat choice foods and sleep. I have sunshine (even when it’s tucked behind the clouds).

Remember, your days may be gloomy but you, too, have sunshine, a reminder that we are still here and have another chance to make life better.

What was a word God gave you, perhaps directly, through another person, in the Bible or some other reading, which gave you the perspective that you needed?

Crying Out

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

For weeks her eyes have been hollow and face sunk in; she has creases at the mouth, greasy hair and ashen skin. She has a brood of children, a reportedly hands off husband of a father and too many responsibilities to name. One day without a word to anyone she left our home schooling group, left a crying preschooler, an anxious toddler and half a dozen older children without a clue to where she went. One mom speculated she needed a break, that she just left to get a breather and could only do so with this type of great escape. When she returned, to my knowledge, no one asked where she went or why she left without a word. I only said, “I wondered what happened to you. You left and didn’t say a word.” She told me she went home, talked to some workers there, never saying she was sorry she left the way she did or thank you for caring for her concerned children. I was offended and decided to have little to do with this woman, but when she came to our group the other week I wish I had said something then.

She came with 70s style track shorts on top of a thick pair of holey dark tan pantyhose that contrasted with her white skin. I wondered “What would make her think it was okay to wear pantyhose with shorts? What would make her think it was okay to wear not just pantyhose, but pantyhose with gaping holes?” Her pulling at and trying to minimize the holes let me know that she knew holey hose were not okay, but was this the only way she could get the help she needed? Was drawing attention to herself in such a loud way the only cry she knew to make. Still, I said nothing. I let her holey cry go unheeded, too afraid to step into her world, get into her business to care for her. But I didn’t let that chance pass me by when a medical office worker gave me more than instructions for my mom’s lab visit. She poured out her soul right in the waiting room, emotions spilling right on the desk and onto me about caring for her dying mom and losing her brother to brain cancer just a few months before.

She cried, sad and angry at her siblings for being absent, coming only to the funeral and not coming around since. She cried right there with a blaring TV, unfiled paperwork and ears captive, listening. “I gotta be strong for my kids,” she said, not able to wipe her tears fast enough before the next well flowed. I told her to let go of that strong black woman demeanor, to get some counseling and grieve fully and as long as it takes for her to feel whole again. And I told her when she could do so without sinful anger to talk to her siblings about how she feels, leaving no room for bitterness to break her but for her attempt at reconciliation to help make her whole again. I prayed for her, told her my name and left knowing that she, nor I, would ever be the same.

When you encounter someone who is clearly crying out for help, how do you respond? What, if anything, would you say to my homeschooling group mom? Please, tell me what you think.

Mother Respect

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

Being a mom is hard. Whether you juggle work outside the home or seek to balance life while caring for children full-time, the work of mothering can make you want to quit, at least temporarily. I know I’m not the only one who may have that momentary thought. Though the calling is full of blessings, we need mothering breaks, but we have to know what breaks are appropriate. The break we take to regain our sense of self, sanity or anything else we may have lost giving ourselves to mothering may be the one to cause us to lose our children’s respect. Like any calling from God, we can’t delegate mothering, put it on hold or simply hope for the best as we take a hands-off approach. Though we recovering strong black women have full lives that may be rich with variety, the greatest contribution we can give to the Kingdom of God is disciples sold out for Jesus Christ. Whether our children are spiritual or biological they must respect our authority in their lives so we have the foundation we need to impart all that God intends for them to have. Read more about this in my latest EEW Magazine article, which begins below:


She was asleep on the couch, taking a short rest in the comfort of her own home. This was her bed for the minute but became her last resting place alive after her 14-year-old son shot her because she forbade him to associate with alleged gang members. In another case, a 15-year-old boy stabbed his father to death as the father tried to physically restrain him from leaving the house to hang with gang members. Both these incidents happened a few weeks ago in Michigan but we too often hear stories like this across the nation where children have taken the lives of the very ones who gave them life. What is it that would make a child kill a mother or a father, the ultimate act of parental disrespect? Barring the child being sexually, physically or emotionally abused or having substance abuse or mental illness issues, perhaps the one reason a child would cuss out, strike at, steal from or kill a parent is simply not respecting their parents’ authority.

“Respect is not given but must be earned,” goes the old adage. Though some of us would like to believe that respect automatically comes with being a parent, that simply is not the case. We see the disrespect with the three-year-old cutting up in the grocery line, the 12-year-old with the attitude at the mall. or the 16-year-old who refuses to come out of the bedroom because of conflict with a parent. We see parents (and we ourselves may) negotiate, ignore or just accept this type of behavior, but this shouldn’t be the case. As our children’s first teachers, no matter how we may have messed up in the past, we have the responsibility to raise disciplined children and that works best when our children respect our authority. We must earn our children’s respect by establishing our authority in their lives. Doing so will curb this ill behavior until it becomes practically nonexistent.

“To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child”
(Proverbs 29:15).

So the key is teaching our children wisdom through discipline and this works in a number of ways: Read more here and please tell me what you think.