Category Archives: Control

Benefits of Gatekeeping

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We all want a job with benefits, even though for many of us these days jobs with perks are a thing of the past. Not so with God. When He gives us a job, there are always benefits, maybe not ones we immediately think of as desirable but always those that will build up His kingdom. So it is with the job of gatekeeper. Even though it’s hard work, especially considering the need to have a panoramic view, being a gatekeeper honors God and benefits the woman herself, her family, other families, and the church at large.

• Guarding the home honors God. Jesus says in John 14:15: “If you love me keep my commandments” (Also see John 14:21). Keeping God’s commandments shows that we not only love Him, but also that God’s Word is worthy of honor, especially when others see the Bible’s positive impact on our lives (Titus 2:5).

• Guarding the home benefits women. Proverbs 14:1 says, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” In the wisdom of gatekeeping, a woman builds her house, starting with herself. She is not led astray by spiritual teachers who seek their own gain, but she can follow the Word of God for her life and impact her family (2 Tim. 3:1-7).

• Guarding the home benefits husbands. When a woman focuses on doing the right thing instead of commanding her husband to get himself together and even telling him how to do it, she wins him over (1 Peter 3:1-2, 6). By following her role of submission and not usurping her husband’s authority and telling him what to do, she allows her husband to learn from his mistakes, learn from her behavior and be inclined to believe God’s Word about his position of leadership (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7).

• Guarding the home benefits children. When a woman understands the power of training her children in the way they should go, she will 1) instill God’s Word in them so they will always have a firm foundation (Proverbs 22:6) and 2) talk to and spank them when they stray so they will be wise and saved from destruction (Proverbs 29:15, 23:14-15).

• Guarding the home benefits other families. When a woman spends time keeping her house together, she doesn’t have time to meddle in other people’s business (1 Tim. 5:13).

• Guarding the home benefits the entire church. When each woman works as a gatekeeper to build up her house, all the homes in the body of Christ will be strengthened and all these families strengthen the church. The church, then, is better equipped to impact the nations for Jesus Christ and make the world (and eternity) a better place to live (Matthew 28:18-20).

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Three Eyes of Gatekeeping

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Many jobs these days require not just multitasking but multi-roles that employers have workers do to save on hiring more employees. Sometimes these roles aren’t even explained, just given, and this leaves workers frustrated and stressed. But God is a different kind of employer. When He gives us a job, we may have multi-roles, but He always gives us direction to fulfill our roles. Such is the case with the job of being a homemaker, more illustratively known as a gatekeeper.

As a gatekeeper, a woman has to be like the Old Testament temple gatekeepers who had a panoramic view of the temple. They were posted at all four corners of the temple to make sure that God’s house was protected from predators and provided for by those selected to serve the temple. A woman with a panoramic view sees all sides of her and her family’s life so they can be on guard from the enemy’s attack and use this knowledge to benefit God’s kingdom.

Women must have hindsight, access the present and anticipate what is needed for the future. This is having a panoramic view of all sides of life. Isaiah 58:12 talks about the result of someone who looks at the ruins of the present, sees how the past has impacted the present, and because she decided to fast, she helps to positively impact the future: “And [they that shall be] of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.”

When a woman decides to take her job of gatekeeping seriously, she can repair brokenness, build up what was abandoned, and provide stable homes for many generations to come. She will be known by her works, being a wonderful example for many generations, who, too, will know how to be gatekeepers and help strengthen the kingdom of God.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Watch Your Body

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Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I think of my job as a keeper at home. This job is big enough for two or three women in one household. Of course I’m not advocating polygamy (though a hired housekeeper would be nice), but when I think about why this job is necessary, I recollect myself, call on God and know that He gives me nothing more than I can handle. I remember that being a keeper at home, or a homemaker, is a wonderful role and is required of all women, not just married ones who don’t work outside the home. Titus 2:5 says this job is for women to serve as the home’s gatekeeper to let in the good and keep out the bad so the family can meet its spiritual goals. If women do just this job, we would see a world of difference:

• Guard your ears. Women must guard what the family hears: “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly” (2 Tim. 2:16). This hearing includes any talk, whether one-on-one, from the television, radio, Internet and even from the pulpit. When family members hear not just godless talk, but talk that is vain (words that have no value to the hearer), they will desire to hear more ungodly and vain talk, which will impact what they say and what they want to see.
• Watch your mouths. Women must guard what the family says: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29). What you speak is often learned from what is heard and gets into your heart. Once the talk is in the heart, it eventually comes out. Mark 7:21-23 says, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
• Guard your eyes. Women must guard what the family sees. Matthew 6:22-23 tells us that when we look at healthy things, our entire bodies will be healthy. This makes me think about reading the Bible, Christian literature and other inspirational materials. These things positively impact my mind, empower my limbs and infuse my talk do duplicate good.

Without a doubt, what you hear, say and see impact the person you become and dictate your actions. Guarding these key areas will help shape your family and (one family at a time) the world to be who God has called us to be. I would love to hear from you some ways that you have guarded your family’s ears, mouths and eyes. I know your sharing that and even how you wish you had been more vigilant will be beneficial for all of us. I look forward to hearing from you.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Be Level-Headed

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Mental instability is sobering. It affects the young and the old, the rich and the poor, and males and females all over the world. Without a doubt the increase in the reported numbers of heinous crimes, hospitalizations and people I have encountered surely has more to do with oppressed social and economic times than with genetics. I say this because many of us have had a “crazy” in the family, whether certified or not. We know that this person couldn’t be counted on to hold an entire sensible conversation because he has “always been that way.” But now it seems people have more than just the crazy uncle or friend, at least that’s what I see.

Maybe people are more vocal about their instabilities, whereas in years past speaking about them was taboo. Or maybe I notice more people because there are few asylums where they can go and others who want or need short-term care don’t get it because they can’t afford it. Whatever the reason for the instability, God has called us to be level-headed; discreet and sober are the words given to women in Titus 2. This is a great call and equally difficult.

At first glance, the definitions for discreet and sober seem to be the same, with both suggesting having self control. But a deeper look shows the distinction: Discreet has more to do with discipline in terms of completing a task that you have committed to and sober would “involve the cultivation of sound judgment and prudence.” So God is calling us to do what we have committed ourselves to and to develop our minds so that we make good decisions, free from emotions. There is a definite connection between these words beyond their definition: If your mind isn’t developed to make good decisions, then you’re unlikely to complete tasks that you have committed to. A sound mind leads to consistent completed tasks.

Though being sober and discreet is difficult, this is what we are called to be so we don’t permanently end up in an institution or making and breaking commitments. God never commands something from us without equipping us (Philippians 2:13). So rest assured that stability in body and mind is something that you can achieve if you believe and trust God.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Be Pure

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From as early as I can remember I’ve been driven to do what I feel is right: As a toddler I never crawled, just decided to walk one day; In elementary school, I befriended the lonely and didn’t let bullies bully me; In junior high, I refused to suck up to the most popular girl who sought to strip my dignity and win my friends; In high school, I dared to run for class office against the most popular girl; In college, I led my peers to defend the homeless and conducted personal crusades on their behalf; and post graduate and beyond, I’ve made it my business to tell it like it is about race and gender inequalities. These weren’t bad things, but they all stemmed from an independent spirit. And an independent spirit is great when it allows you to be free from trying to please people, to do the right thing. But when you are free from trying to please God to do your own thing, that’s when chaos begins.

Chaos for me began when my free spirit was coupled with an early exposure to illicit sex. From about 9 to early adulthood, self pleasure was a favorite pastime, at 16 my virginity was loss (at my initiating), and throughout early adulthood, I did most of what my body desired. As a strong black woman, I thought it was my prerogative to “make love” to men I wasn’t married to, watch illicit movies, and hang out at seedy places with unscrupulous people. Few suspected my impurity, with two of my closest friends in college ridiculing me for being “a prude.” Private I was; prudish I was not and this caused an ultimate tragedy for me—getting burned.

Even though I wasn’t saved, the results of my illicit acts helped me to see why God commands purity for His people (Colossians 3:5-6). Sexual purity is rendered fornication in the Bible and means to have sex outside of the marital bond to whom God declares you can marry (one man to one woman). Engaging within the bond of marriage can be challenging enough in itself. Operating outside of God’s commands inevitably brings consequences you don’t want and shouldn’t have to handle. Truly, it is best to flee fornication and rid yourself of the notion that you are free to do whatever you want because you are grown (1 Corinthians 6:18). If you don’t, assured destruction is on the way.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith