Category Archives: Control

The Actions of Babes

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If you pay close attention to children, you can see some spiritual lessons at work. This happened the other day when I was helping my 2-year-old son Nathaniel take off his shirt. I was pulling it up to pull it off, but right when I got to the bridge of his nose, he began to panic. Apparently I wasn’t going fast enough for him so to counter his anxiety he began to pull the shirt down to keep it on. I had to tell him—scream almost so he could hear me above his cries, to let me take his shirt off my way, for him to take his hands off, so that he would be okay and that we would meet the goal of his shirt coming off.

Seeing Nathaniel at work against me made me think of how we often do with God. We ask for His help, and though we may see progress, we begin to panic because we are not meeting our goal as fast as we think we should. We get involved, working against what God is trying to do and end up doing opposite of what He intends to do, working against God and our goal.

I encourage you today: Let God be God and let Him work for you the way He wants to. Remember, when we get our grubby hands involved there will definitely be a mess (Isaiah 64:6). But when God is at work, we have perfection, and when we trust Him to do what He does, He will keep us safe and we will reach our goal (Psalm 18:30).

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Help With Submission

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I messed up on Monday. The same day I wrote about my struggle with being gracious that has challenged my submission was the same day I failed with that struggle. Submission is not easy. And sometimes, like Monday, I think it sucks in the traditional way. I have a hard time remembering that submission sucks out the bad to make way for the good. To help me focus, I know I have to:

? Want to do right. I have to seek God to give me the desires of my heart. He knows the ones that should be there and submission is at the top of the list (Psalm 139:23-24).
? Think about doing right. Philippians 4:8 should be at the forefront of every Christian’s mind no matter what the issue is. Thinking about the good submission brings will help me to carry it out.
? Remember the example of right. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of submission. He left heaven, veiled His glory and came to earth, following the will of God the Father (Philippians 2:1-8). I must remember that if God himself came down from heaven and gave up His right to rule, then surely I, who don’t have a right to rule, can submit to those God gave to lead me. Also, seek guidance from women you know who submit.
? Know that I can do right. God has placed in me the ability not only to want to do right but the ability to do right (Philippians 2:13).
? Focus on helping to set other things right. I will envision how my submission will influence generations to come, and let a better world be my incentive for submission.

As I am on my journey, I will keep these books close at hand:

• Liberated Through Submission, by P.B. Wilson
• Authority and Submission, by Watchman Nee
• Touching Godliness Through Submission, by K.P. Yohannan

I hope you journey on to submission. With all this help, I intend to and expect to succeed with grace which will lead me to submission.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Submission Sucks

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Submission: Placing one’s personal mission under the mission of another; to voluntarily give up personal rights for the rights of others; to rank under another, as a soldier ranking under an officer.

Ahhh, the start of a new year. It brings new resolutions and always new challenges to those resolutions. I already find myself renegotiating one of my own goals: to be more gracious to my husband when he messes up so that I am more submissive. My husband doesn’t see this as a needed goal because typically I extend grace and submit. He thinks I do well, and I do most times because my husband is a sweetheart, constantly doting and thinking of and doing what will make my life better. So I’ve considered chucking the gracious goal. If he’s satisfied, then I’m satisfied, I reason. But I remember why I set the goal in the first place: For those times when my husband doesn’t think as fast as I think he should or plan like I think he should and I’m at war with him in my mind. I have to fight hard not to kill him in there, but I injure him many times; in my mind his ego is bruised, his feelings are hurt and he becomes senile: “Who is this woman I married?”

I don’t really want to bruise his ego, hurt his feelings or make him wonder why he married me so I have to take control of my thoughts that come from an impure heart that will eventually reach out to dishonor my husband with words and cause me not submit to his way of processing, his way of coming to a solution. Submission is important for my personal growth, my husband’s well being, our marriage’s health, the stability of the children and the growth of God’s kingdom. The growth of God’s kingdom is the key reason for submission and all the other reasons help to craft the key.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24).

After giving the wives instructions, the Apostle Paul tells husbands how they are to treat their wives, always comparing the husband to Jesus Christ. And then toward the end of the passage it says, “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (v. 32). So Paul tells us that the great mystery of marriage is that the union is akin to Christ’s relationship to the church. Because I am the church, I am a subject of Christ in the kingdom of God. As a wife, I am a subject of my husband in our home. So in essence, what I speak to my husband, I speak to Christ. How I speak to my husband is how I speak to Christ. What I do to my husband, I do to Christ. What I speak about my husband, I speak about Christ. What I think about my husband, I think about Christ. Oh the tangled web we wives weave when we don’t think of our Savior but only think that submission sucks. We don’t want to submit because we’d rather that our husbands submit to our ideas, submit to our plans, submit to our way of doing and thinking, submit to us. But I propose that we think of submission sucking a different way.

Submission can suck the life out of your flesh yet give breath to your spirit. Submission can suck your toxins from your husband and kiss him with peace and joy. Submission can suck laziness and disobedience from your children and energize them with a desire to work and please. Submission can suck the parasites from the pews and infuse new blood to the church. Yes, submission sucks to get out the bad and to give life the way God intends for life to be.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Unnatural Affection

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As I pondered my lesson for the women’s ministry service this week for the “World is in Your Womb” series (lessons on motherhood) at my church, I continued to be struck with Pastor Renee’s notion of maternal vision and blind parenting. In my message I kept that theme going as I looked at the biblical mothers Jochebed (Moses’ mom) (Exodus 2:1-10) and Rebekah (Jacob and Esau’s mom) (Genesis 25:19-34; 27). Jochebed represented the one with maternal vision and Rebekah was the blind mother.

I found that Jochebed was selfless, because she was
1. Cooperative. She didn’t fight against what God showed her about Moses. She went out of her way to ensure the best for her son.
2. Concentrated. She maintained her focus on her plans to save Moses. She never gave up but continued to be diligent.
3. Careful. She was meticulous with her efforts. She took her time like a skilled craftsman.

Opposite Jochebed was Rebekah, who was selfish, because her efforts were
1. Comfortable. She did what felt good to her.
2. Convenient. She did what came easy for her. She didn’t trust God with the unknown but worked to make prophecy come to pass in her own strength.
3. Calculating. She spent a great amount of time figuring out how to scheme, a method that was within her reach.

So though we must strive to be like Jochebed, there are a lot of reasons we fail and are blind mothers. Pastor Renee outlined these practical reasons in her blog post on Monday, which is definitely where Rebekah fell, but I want us to consider spiritual implications:

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) (italics mine).

So while we are working hard against our natural selfish tendencies, we must also work hard against our two other enemies, the world and the devil. These perilous times have come and mothers now lack “natural affection” for their children. A mother should naturally want her children, care for her children, fight for her children, and raise her children to be the best they can be. But this lacking of natural affection has entered our cultural landscape, has spread into Christianity, and has made many of us challenge the biblical notions of nurturing our children. What we are up against is more than a flesh and cultural war but a spiritual battle that only God’s word can equip us to handle. Timothy tells us to “turn away” from people who don’t have natural affection. This includes you turning away from the you that lacks natural affection and seeking God to restore to you what is essentially your birthright as a mother.

So I urge you mothers to gird your loins with truth, and put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand Satan’s schemes that have duped many of us to believe that it’s okay to be a Rebekah and too much work to be a Jochebed (Ephesians 6:10-18). Don’t fall for his lies but believe that God can restore to you natural affection for your children so you raise them to be the godly seed that they are supposed to be.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

No Excuse for Abuse

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Some women just don’t know how to nurture their children. Yesterday I was sitting in my child’s second grade glass with other parents and children, including non-school age ones, when one baby, about 2 or 3, whined just a bit too much for his mom so she popped him. I don’t know where she hit him but I heard the sound and then him crying as he blinked huge tears from his eyes that begged her to hug him, love him, what seemed like what his whining was about in the first place. She ignored his little brown face that beckoned to be kissed and for tears to be wiped away. Instead, she dismissed him to go with his older sister so she could nurture him instead.

As we observe domestic violence awareness month, with a particular emphasis on women, I don’t want us to forget the children. Granted, it’s hard to separate the focus on children when you are speaking about women who suffer abuse. Many times children experience abuse at the hands of their mother’s abusers. If they don’t suffer physical abuse, watching their mother suffer results in their arrested psychological, emotional, and social development among other stagnations. But my focus for this post is not physical violence against children at the hands of their fathers or mothers’ boyfriends but is on spiritual abuse against children at the hands of their own mothers.

With the broad definition of abuse being the improper treatment of somebody, especially on a consistent basis, I find that Christian mothers spiritually abuse their children when they don’t teach them spiritual principles to help them develop into healthy Christ-like human beings. Their children are bound to mirror the world’s ways that say the best success is financial and material gain. This spiritual abuse happens because some women simply don’t know what to do. Well, my women’s pastor, Renee M. Carr of Detroit’s Evangel Ministries, gives the first step that’s necessary to spiritually nurturing children: having what she calls “maternal vision.”

Maternal vision is to perceive by any of your senses what must be done with your child; to have regard for and to cherish them. In other words, you must be able to see what your child can become and, therefore, understand what needs to be done to help him or her to get there. Or in the negative sense, prevent him or her from getting there. God has wonderful plans in store for your children and Satan has diabolical ones. It’s our job as mothers to have maternal vision so we bring God’s plan to fruition and frustrate Satan’s devices so we nurture spiritually healthy children. We must see what type of parent, employer or employee, and friend they can become. We must see what type of moral agent they can become. In essence, we must see how God would have them impact the world. Begin to pray that God will open your eyes and other senses so you see His and Satan’s plans for your child so you can begin to develop a plan to spiritually nurture your child with precision.

In the next few posts, I plan to discuss more of Pastor Carr’s maternal vision, including how to get it and once you get it, what needs to be done to put it in motion. Stay tuned.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith