Category Archives: Multitudes on Mondays

Whitney but no Jesus

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We gathered around TVs, eyes glued there, thumbs on tablets and cells, watching and tweeting our way through. We couldn’t believe what our eyes did see: Whitney Houston was gone. We knew it to be true, though. The casket was there. The choir was there and so were “more stars than the Grammys,” said the pastor of Newark’s New Hope Baptist Church. This was Houston’s hometown church, the place where mother Cissy wanted to celebrate Houston’s life now in her death, a place familiar to Whitney, a comfortable place, fitting to send her to her ultimate home.

We gathered around TVs, tweeting the incredible, sounding off the unusual, after voice after voice talked about the Lord. Some actually said His name, Jesus, and we couldn’t believe that He was sent forth. Across the airwaves, throughout the nations folks heard about His goodness; they heard about His grace. I imagine they were hungry, on the edge of their seats wanting to know how to get this Jesus: Do I read the Bible? Do I go to church? Do I just say I love Him? Their eyes were glued, probably they knew that someone would tell them how to get them Jesus and be with Him even in death. But this they do not know, at least not from the Houston screen, the worldwide platform where the famous and familiar didn’t have to pay to say what I expected them to say: Jesus Christ, who is God, who Whitney claimed to be her God, died on the cross for the sins of mankind, but rose again after three days, defeating death and the grave. If those who say they sin and believe they need a perfect savior to help them sin less call on Jesus, that perfect Savior, to take away their sins, because they believe in their hearts that Jesus made that sacrifice, that He paid the price for their redemption, then they too will defeat death. They will have the power to live for Jesus in life and be with Him in heaven after death.

But they didn’t say this. They said the familiar, the comfortable, the unpeculiar. They blended in, went for the shout, never clarifying the doubt that surely thousands had. What God is love? How can I prioritize God? This made me sad. This made me mad that the Savior I know (and off the Houston screen the one they say they know) couldn’t hear them say that Jesus is Lord and that He said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” But their denial reminded me of what I must do on my arrivals: Wherever I go, whomever I meet I must speak the name of Jesus whenever the opportunity comes. I am thankful for a heart check, seeing if my blood freely flows Jesus and not just human red. There is power in the name of Jesus. In Him we live and move and have our being. Without Him we are nothing. Without Him, we get nothing.

But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven (Matthew 10:33).

Don’t be denied.

My One Thousand Gifts List
#451-460
Getting two complimentary CDs
Connecting with an old classmate
Intimate talk with a new friend
Watching a movie with Flynn
Getting ready for church and not being stressed without having help with the boys
Being able to hear the main parts of the sermon even with the noise of the cry room
Flynn having me pick up carryout so I wouldn’t have to cook dinner
The incredible sound of thunder and the beautiful brightness of lightening
Enjoying episode two of Wives and Daughters
A shower BEFORE the boys woke up

Whitney’s Help

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When I was 12 and a little less than carefree I had big dreams. I wanted to be a writer and a magazine owner. That fashion magazine would be for black girls like me, fun and funky and for those who wanted to talk about black girl issues, like what to do with kinky hair and when, if ever, we should shave our legs. I had these big dreams because I had great parents who encouraged me to dream and I had Whitney Houston.

She was the first black girl I saw grace the pages of Seventeen and she did so more than a few times. When I saw her I knew there could be space for me, that I wouldn’t have to push as hard to make it into a business that focused little on girls like me. Though Whitney Houston was a great singer, my memory of her is of a fashion-industry barrier breaker and seeing her giving me the courage to do the same.

As the world mourns the of death Houston, this woman so often called a strong black woman who wrestled with many issues, probably some we will never know, I wonder who Houston had to encourage her. I wonder was the pressure of all her ‘firsts’ just too great for her that she had such a hard time seeing and trusting the God who made those firsts possible. Though gospel singer Kirk Franklin tweeted that he “knew” fame killed Houston, we may never know. But what I want us to remember as we are teaching our children to be excellent in Christ is that our children need our constant encouragement so that even before their excellence manifests they have something to hold on to when their trouble comes. Let us do whatever the Holy Spirit leads us to do to help our children remain hopeful in the midst of their disappointment, in the midst of their trials and pain. I am thankful that we have a God who is there to give us the guidance that we need. Read more about encouraging our children in my latest EEW article.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#441-450
Swinging with Justus
Hearing Justus say “wee” as I pushed him in the swing
Flynn hearing my heart about him needing to cut out something in ministry
A full, informative blog post
A half hour nap
Being on a guest list
Seeing all black women in the Black Women Rock band
Not having to hear anyone call me and enjoying being alone at the concert
Sharing my faith comfortably at a gathering with several non-Christians
Connecting with an artist and seeing her joy at receiving my First Year of Motherhood book

Positioned to Plant

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“Give it up; give it all up.” This I heard God say when seeking Him about easing back into public ministry after taking a six-month maternity leave right before I had my second child. That was four years ago and I have yet to return to serve as my church’s women’s ministry assistant director, discipleship director and a regular bible teacher (all the positions that flashed in my mind when I heard God speak). I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew that God had planted me in women’s ministry and couldn’t understand why He would remove me from those positions. “How can I walk in my calling if I’m not in my positions?” Responding to my thoughts, I heard God say “They will come.” “How are they going to find me?” I responded. God was silent, probably laughing that I forgot that He was all-powerful and all-knowing and that He could orchestrate any scenario—in or out of my home—to help me fulfill my purpose. Of course, that’s exactly what happened.

In addition to the women who I had a direct discipleship relationship with, women began calling me to counsel and mentor them; I received two major writing assignments without having ever met the people who hired me; and my husband and I started counseling about some married and engaged couples. Through this blog, that God led me to begin after my transition out of public ministry, and other online sources, I have connected with so many women that I have ministered to and alongside. Yes, the women (and husbands) came right into my home, on my couch, through my phone and over my computer. In many ways my volume of ministry to women is more than it was when I was fully serving in public ministry. I would never have imagined this. Only God knew and He knows the same for you. Allow God to use you wherever you find yourself and whatever season you find yourself in. Though you may not have imagined being where you are, even thinking the timing of your season sucks, know that God wants to use you right where you are.

My friend Dianna just ministered a three-day revival where she, in essence, charged us to “sow the seed God gave us” wherever we are planted. She explained that God gives each of us a seed—a calling to win souls that we are to fulfill using whatever gifts and talents God gives us. And we are to use our seed, to sow it, right where we find ourselves, not where we think we should be. When she spoke, I thought of 1 Corinthians 12:4-7:

Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.
And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.
But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.

We may not have the same gifts as another but even if we do that doesn’t mean we should be in the same position (administration) or even use our gift the same way (operation). The difference in the administration and operation can depend on many aspects, including our calling, personality, ability, talent, season, and planting. I think those of us who know our calling and want to fulfill it get tripped up in the other areas. If we aren’t comfortable with how God made us (our personality, ability and talent) and place more emphasis on a position we have, then we will have a hard time being satisfied with operating in whatever season we are in. And the season dictates where we are planted.

So, we have to be scouts, looking for opportunities to sow our seed right where we are. If I weren’t forced to learn this I probably would have missed ministering recently to two of my mom’s friends—women in their 70s, right over my telephone. No, I didn’t imagine that, but God did and I am thankful that He had me switch positions so I could minister in places and to people that I otherwise would surely have missed.

What are some adjustments you need to make in your life so you can sow your seed right where you are?

My One Thousand Gifts List

#431-440
A great time in fellowship with one of my disciples with God giving me wisdom and prophetic words for her and me realizing why I didn’t feel led to eat breakfast
Nate sticking a rattail comb in a navel orange and saying, “It’s like a pirate (ship).”
Justus smiling after a bite of banana
Not being as upset as I normally would after not being able to book the date I wanted for an event
Switching my sad demeanor into gratitude after thinking how ridiculous my slumping was in comparison to the concerns of our Compassion son and folks who have suffered from recent natural tragedies
Joshua being out of school for two days so I got to sleep in
Being able to babysit for a new friend and feeding her and her son healthy food
Joshua and Nate playing outside
The entire family enjoying the meal
Taking the boys to the park

Special Obligation: Be There

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Last Monday seemed like the day from hell with one thing after another not working out for me. I was frustrated, tired and completely spent. Then I got a call from one of my mother’s friends, one of my “aunts,” and my emotions took another spin.

She started with small talk, asked about the boys and how the whole family was doing. I asked how she was doing. She mumbled something then asked me how I was doing. “Now, that’s what I asked you and you still haven’t answered me.” Then the conversation broke and so did her water. She gave birth to a flood of tears, completely washing me away. She told me how sickness had taken its toll on her family, how bones, bodies and hearts ached, ravaged from disease. She needed someone to talk to; she needed me to talk to, the frustrated, miserable, pitiful one. The one without words. So I called on the Word, the One who gives all words, creates all days, and allows circumstances that make for frustrating, miserable, sad — hellish— days. He gave me words, too mysterious to now remember or even then to ever know, but He spoke them through me, prayed them through me and simply blessed her and my soul.

After God breathed into our moment, filling our lungs and hearts and blowing on our tears, she said, “God told me, ‘Call Rhonda. And I thank God He sent me an angel.” She said she could now go on, even if just for a little while. And our little while, our 26 minutes, pushed me on, out of my time of frustration and self-absorption and into the presence of God and the need of His people. God planned our meeting at our crossroads, the place where only He could point us the right way. In the middle of our moment I sensed that God had called me there, wanted me to stare in the face of someone else’s adversity and focus on helping to bring them through. This is the Christian obligation, to be there one for another to help a brother and sister see tough times through (Romans 12:15;James 5:16). I thank God He chose me that day, my frustrating day, for such a job as this. His use of me made me see how wallowing in my misery was no good for me or anybody else who God appointed to need me.

How has God had you refocus on someone else’s needs in the midst of your own needs? What did you learn in that instance? Please, tell me what you think.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#421-430
The boys having enough food to eat
Seeing the children excited about going to the park
Watching the children run, jump, slide, climb and swing at the park
Hearing Joshua say unsolicited, “Thanks for taking us to the park.”
Joshua saying, “We need to start working on my science fair project” due a month and a half from now
Having an absolutely fabulous, stress-free day even though I though it would be the opposite (This is the day Flynn began working 14 hour days twice a week.)
Watching the short film “The Cycle” on one of the cable networks through Xfinity on my iPad
A discipleship meeting with a mentee who said she has learned to live in the moments she has and not worry aobut the past or future, her biggest lesson (and the one I was hoping she would get from reading “One Thousand Gifts”)
Sending my mentee home with food
The strength from reading Titus 3

Reluctant to Come

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The clock rang and I barely heard it, calling me to get ready for the Early Risers, the 6:30 Sunday morning prayer service at church. I rolled over, tried to sleep another 40 minutes, but the call and commitment to go pulled harder than my comfortable bed. I debated, contemplated texting that I didn’t feel well enough to come, though I was expected there. I got up, even though prayer just didn’t seem that important. Through the mumbling of thanks in the shower, the slipping on of clothes, the wrapping in my bear coat, covering with my hat, gloves and boots, I bare the day, drive, get there and determine to stay in the moments.

The brothers greet me at the door, commenting on outer warmth, not knowing the cold that still chills my soul. I sit and quietly bow, pray forgiveness for wanting what could never soothe my soul like the soul-cleansing work of talking to Jesus. And we all know this, us gathered here to press into God’s presence, to seek His face to heal or give guidance to what we face. We know we must seek Jesus in the way we know how. So the brother with the jive, who jiggles, reaches, almost dives, gets all the way live for Jesus, is there. The wailer, who drowns, covers all our prayers, is there. The shouter, belly gutting hallelujahs enough for all of us, is there. The singer, melodiously speaking her thoughts to God, is there. The repeater, rhythmically rumbling the same phrases, is there. The pastor, homemaker, government worker, full-time encourager, the hugger and crier have come. We’ve all come, weathering our storms, holding on to cling to the One who wakes us and stays with us all day. For this bunch, I am thankful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#411-420
Hosting unexpected guests
Forgetting that I was supposed to have “me time” away from the house today
Flynn grocery shopping and buying dinner so I didn’t have to cook
Getting to bed before 11 p.m.
The children going to sleep without a fight
Awaking with little anxiety about the long day
Recording six vlog takes before I had to go see about Justus
Not fretting when I couldn’t find my old computer CD files and remembering that they might be on my desktop (and they were)
Not fretting about the possibility of losing my work when the Internet was tripping
Seeing that my video upload was complete after the Internet was tripping