Me (pregnant with Justus) and ladies of my former discipleship group: LaWanda, Della and Nikia

On Friday I hung out with one of my baby sisters, Della. She and I aren’t related by human blood but we are none the less family. We’ve supported each other in many ways, emotionally, mentally, financially, socially and spiritually. When Nate was born, she felt led for six months to serve me and my family by helping me care for Nate, Josh and my home. I have led her through many bible studies and given her numerous hours of counseling. She looks up to me. Della is my baby sister and because she is she watches me. Friday Della told me something she observed about me that had been such a stronghold for me I’m still uncovering how it has been broken in my life:

“Rhon, you have really changed. I remember when you wouldn’t stop until you found the answer,” Della said, after seeing how I didn’t obsess with finding out the missing word of a memory verse I was trying to quote to her. “Oh, I’ll have to look it up later,” I said. Even with the Bible on my phone that was in my purse, I went back to talking to her and we proceeded to shop. She saw this and knew these actions represented a different person, a person who was trying to focus on what was before her and wasn’t trying to control matters. I am learning not to try to control everything.

And I’ve tried to control a lot of people and situations through people. This can be a miserable existence and one we were never meant to live. We can’t control the actions of anyone—friends, co-workers, husband, children or any subordinates, particularly those we may lead in ministry. We just have to do what God told us to do and let that be enough. So often obedience is not enough because we want to own what happens as a result of what we told someone, whether it was advice or a warning. But we can’t own the outcome—good or bad—of what people do after we share with them. When we try to control how (or even if) they respond to our teaching we are trying to make ourselves God. God is the one who put in us the power to want to do and the ability to do what pleases Him (Philippians 2:13). When we fret because people haven’t followed our instruction, we are upset, essentially, that we aren’t that power to make them want and to actually do what we told them to do. When they do what we told them to do, we can’t take credit for that. The Holy Spirit led us to instruct them. The Holy Spirit led them to complete the assignment. The Holy Spirit gave them the power to complete the assignment. We are nowhere in the equation, except as a vessel God chose to use so His voice might be heard and obeyed.

When we walk in complete humility we continually recognize our “spiritual littleness and unworthiness and submit to the power and will of God.” When we do this we recognize that the only power we have is to trust and obey God. He is responsible for handling the outcome. He has already equipped believers with being able to do right. He already has a system in place when we—sinners and saints—do wrong. The consequences are left for Him and shouldn’t be our concern if we did what He told us to do. Our focus has to be on obedience. Obedience is hard enough in and of itself and will give us plenty to do. We can’t own outcomes—good or bad—if we did what God told us to do.

My One Thousand Gifts List

201-210
Ashley Haupt’s blog about her daughter starting a gratitude journal
Doing “the bump” with Joshua
Joshua dancing while I sang a made up song
Justus banging his foot to the rhythm of my chopping onions
A good night’s rest
A shower before 7 a.m.
Talking with Flynn
Lunch for Joshua and Flynn being easy to prepare
Justus sleeping through the night
Awesome love time with God