Author Archives: Rhonda J. Smith

Changing Your Mind

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I hope you know by now that a major aim of my blog is to stimulate minds in order to change hearts (thus a new mind) of black Christian women who historically have relied on making things happen themselves. The allure of being a strong black woman on your own accord is great. We like compliments; it can be nice being the center of attention; and quite frankly it’s a way many of us have always known so it’s hard to think, and, therefore, do anything other than the strong black woman way.

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Romans 12:2).

But as you know, the only way that we will turn away from the world’s definition of a strong black woman is by renewing our minds. And the only way to renew our minds is to put on the mind of Jesus Christ. And the only way to put on the mind of Christ is to get to know Christ. And the only way to get to know Christ is through fellowship with Him. And the way you fellowship with Him is by reading His word and prayer. A big problem is that some of us don’t take the time to read the Bible or pray. Another problem may be that we don’t know how to engage His word or to pray.

If you are one of those people who just don’t know where to begin, you know I won’t leave you hanging. Please, visit my blog tomorrow where I will share with you ingredients for prayer that no doubt will guide you in your quest to go deeper with God. Learning how to pray properly will definitely cause you to read God’s word because in order to have an effective prayer life you must know the God that you are praying to.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Trust Your Leaders

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My heart has been heavy, and I am in utter disbelief, when considering that three Christian women I know got married this year without the blessing of their church. This wasn’t because the church discovered that their mates were sinful and forbade the women from marrying them. It was because the church wasn’t even afforded an opportunity to give wise counsel. These women courted and then took their vows without involving their church’s leaders. They didn’t receive marital counseling at their church, didn’t have the ceremony at their church and didn’t even invite the church leaders to their ceremonies. What’s wrong with this?

Well, I know each of these women could be typically classified as strong black women, believing that they are smart enough and know themselves well enough to make their own decisions, but this thinking is dangerous because it contradicts Scripture, particularly the “One Another” verses I discussed last week and those that tell us to submit to the spiritual authorities in our lives (Proverbs 11:14; 1 Peter 2:13, 18; and Hebrews 13:7, 17). And even if I didn’t know these scriptures, it’s hard for me to fathom choosing a church for my spiritual development and allowing those leaders to teach me from the pulpit, but not trusting them to help guide one of the biggest spiritual decisions of my life. But even with these women being typical strong black women and operating in a way foreign to me, I understand their move. They probably have had to make decisions on their own for so long and have encountered so many untrustworthy people, they simply did what they knew best—to be self-reliant.

They’ve encountered what the Bible calls talebearers, those who spread their business after they put their trust in these people. As a result, strife developed between them and the culprits, and the women suffered deep wounds. This has made them leery of people in general, but leaders in particular because of leaders’ job of guiding decisions and having to reveal “your business” to get you help if what you reveal will be harmful to you, minors or other vulnerable populations. And perhaps the leaders didn’t handle their business right. These women don’t want to be accountable to someone who they feel may harm them.

So often the strong black woman has made decisions without spiritual guidance because of untrustworthy leaders. This is a great dilemma but one that God has worked out for us: “It is better to trust God than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust God than to put confidence in princes” (Proverbs 118:8-9). Though He gives us people, especially leaders, to guide us, we must ultimately trust Him with the process He has given us. Though we must go to humans, as God’s representatives, we trust that God will speak to them and through them. And as the ultimate revealer of secrets, we must trust that God will reveal to us and our leaders what we need to live lives that give glory to Jesus Christ. This way of looking at trust is not easy, but it is better to trust God (His way) than to put confidence in man (our strong black selves).

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

The Power of One Another

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I hope you’ve had a chance to ponder on the “One Another” scriptures I posted on Wednesday. I don’t know what they did in your heart or what you observed about them, but this is what God was screaming to me: We have to fulfill these scriptures because we are commanded to and the only way we can fulfill them is to be in close relationship with others. I know if we all understood this—not just in our minds but in our hearts, Christians’ lives would be more unified, more mature, more powerful and a lot more stress-free.

Unified—brought together to form a single unit or entity* (John 13:35)
Jesus said the world would know us Christians by our love for each other. When people see us loving on each other through the “One Another” scriptures, it will be clearly evident that we are not just moral people doing good things but that we belong to Jesus Christ, that He is the one who brought us together to form the single unit of the body of Christ.

Maturity—the state of being fully grown or developed (Ephesians 4:11-13)
Being in relationship with others striving like you provides the space to challenge any stagnation. As we fulfill the “One Another” scriptures, we help each other to examine ourselves and move beyond our immaturities, be they emotional, social, mental or spiritual.

Powerful—having or exerting great physical or mental strength; possessing the strength or qualities to produce a fast and effective result; able to produce a strong effect on people’s ideas or emotions (Acts 1:8).
Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit so we’d have power to live impactful lives. Living out the “One Another” scriptures causes us to allow the Holy Spirit to lead our lives, thus making dramatic change for the better in our and others’ lives.

Stress-free—free from mental, emotional or physical strain (James 5:16)
When the “One Another” scriptures are in effect, we have the support of other Christians and know we aren’t alone in our battles. Sure God is our ultimate help, but He placed us in each others’ lives to be able to combat opposing forces together.

I know many of us have not had positive experiences being close with others, even other Christians. Because of these experiences, we may be hesitant to fulfill the “One Another” scriptures and allow others to help us through them. Please know this: your bad experience shaped your past reality but through faith Jesus can control your current and future realities. You must believe that by following the commands of His scriptures you will reap the good that God intends for you to reap (John 10:10). “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good” so you can be on your way to a unified, mature, powerful and stress-free life (Psalm 34:8).

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith
*All definitions taken from the Encarta Dictionary English (North America)

Love Connection

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Last week’s blog entries dealt with Christians being kind—doing good and saying good things, from the heart—toward each other and those throughout the world. This topic won’t shake me loose as I continue to ponder on why God commanded us to be that way. Today I’m particularly stuck on what Christians should be and do for each other. I’ve listed 30 scriptures that command God’s people how to treat each other. These fall under the common heading of some “One Another” scriptures. I list these today so that you see what’s on my mind and so you, too, can ponder what your relationship should be like with other believers of Jesus Christ. As always, I welcome your thoughts:

1. Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another (Leviticus 19:11)
2. Ye shall not therefore oppress one another; but thou shalt fear thy God: for I [am] the LORD your God (Leviticus. 25:17).
3. And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit [them for] a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour (Leviticus. 25:46).
4. If I then, [your] Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet (John 13:14).
5. A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another (John 13:34).
6. [Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another (Romans 12:10). . .
7. [Be] of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits” (Romans 12:16).
8. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another (Romans 14:19).
9. Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God (Romans 15:7).
10. And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another (Romans 15:14).
11. That there should be no schism in the body; but [that] the members should have the same care one for another (1 Corinthians. 12:25).
12. For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only [use] not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another (Galatians 5:17).
13. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).
14. With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love (Ephesians 4:2).
15. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).
16. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21).
17. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds (Colossians 3:9).
18. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord (Colossians 3:19).
19. Wherefore comfort one another with these words (1 Thessalonians 4:18).
20. Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
21. But exhort one another daily, while it is called Today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13).
22. And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:24-25).
23. Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge (James 4:11).
24. Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door (James 5:9).
25. Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16).
26. Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9).
27. Use hospitality one to another without grudging (1 Peter 4:9).
28. As every man hath received the gift, [even so] minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God (1 Peter 4:10).
29. Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all [of you] be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5).
30. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others (Philippians 2:4).

By Rhonda J. Smith

Tips for Activating Good Will

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With Sisters in Christ

1. Resolve in your mind that you want God’s will above your will (Matthew 26:39).
2. Don’t vent to others unless they are wise counselors and you are seeking biblical advice. You may be unknowingly gossiping about the person.
3. Meet with the person who has offended with you. Discuss your issues with biblical reconciliation at the forefront of your mind (Matthew 18:15-16; Philippians 4:2-3; 2 Corinthians 5:18-20; Galatians 6:1; and James 5:16).
4. Meet again with a mediator if you two don’t come to a biblical resolution. Remember there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14). Make sure you both agree on who any additional people should be. These should be people who are known to strive to meet biblical standards of reconciliation.
5. Understand that reconciliation may not be immediately available, but that doesn’t mean you don’t strive for it (Matthew 18:17; Romans 12:18).
6. Continue to work to do God’s will with your sister in Christ or without her, making sure not to slander her.

In the World

7. Fulfill God’s commands to impact the world for Christ (Isaiah 61:1-2). In Christ’s stead, we must be his hands and feet on the earth to meet the needs of people.
a. Preach gospel of Christ to those in need. Do everything you can to tell people about salvation through Jesus Christ. Don’t stop there. Show people, through your actions, the power and love of Jesus by
b. feeding the hungry.
c. clothing the naked.
d. binding up (bandage or heal the wounds of) the brokenhearted.
e. comforting all that mourn.
Do all these for individuals you know, through your church, established organizations or a ministry you begin. The point is: Don’t make an excuse for not doing good: being kind to your brothers and sisters in Christ and showing benevolence to those throughout the world. This is the call for all Christians, including the strong black woman who’s trying to refocus her attitude from simply doing good to look good but doing good because goodness emanates from her changed heart that seeks to be like Christ.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith