Author Archives: Rhonda J. Smith

The Beauty of Life

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The dishes are dirty; the clothes pile high; children cry; toys are scattered and tattered and remind me I am the same. The time is gone and won’t be back until tomorrow. Yet in the midst of chaos I see my calm:

Beauty amidst chaos

This spring bouquet, a mixture of two sets of flowers, has been bringing me joy. By seeing them I smile because

  • I marvel at God’s handiwork. How does He give type, color and smell to so many things?
  • They are pretty and make me feel pretty.
  • The blossoms seem to be smiling at me.
  • Two people thought enough about me to buy me them.
  • They remind me that not everything is bad.

    • So find you some flowers today. Maybe your blossoms won’t be flowers but a beaming teenager happy that you’re her mom, a toddling two-year-old with the ability to create in all his spaces, a job that enables you to pay your bills, the wind that blows you fresh air, a potty seat to remind you of childhood progress, frozen food showing you your abundance, helping hands showing you you’re not alone. We never are. God is there, providing blossoms in our messy midst, showing us life as it should be: focused on His goodness and grace while in hellish places.

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    I don’t know who this is for today; I had an entirely different post but when I sat down to write this is what I heard. So I pray for you today. I pray that you see the light at the end of the tunnel, that you know that there is a silver lining, that God didn’t bring you this far to leave you. He would never do that. He is faithful. He never leaves us or forgets about us. It may feel that way but please know that all things work together for our good if we love God and are called according to His purpose. We must remember that He called us for what He wants to do through us not so we can do what we want and have things to go the way we want. And remember that all means ALL; God wastes nothing. He is the ultimate recycler, making us over and over again. So get ready for your life makeover. Get ready for the new and improved you, handcrafted by God, the ultimate stylist and brander. Yep, that’s our God. Wait on Him to make you over. Yes, He wants to do that for you, but He’s got to do it in His own way. Trust Him. Believe in Him. He won’t let you down.

    Friday Feature: Crucify Yourself

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    Many Christians are in the midst of crucifying their flesh, observing Lent by sacrificing their normal indulgences in honor of Jesus, the one crucified so we might live. But what happens after Lent? What happens after any season of fasting, of giving up anything that has kept us from thriving? Many of us go back to our normal routines and pick back up the normal consequences, like weight gain, a blotched complexion and other maladies from poor eating. But if you regularly incorporate cruciferous vegetables into your diet, you will see a huge difference in your digestion and complexion.

    Cruciferous literally means “cross-shaped” and refers to “a group of vegetables—including broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, turnips, and rutabagas—that have characteristic cross-shaped blossoms and that contain substances that may help to prevent colon cancer.”* Collard and mustard greens are also in this family. Dr. Don Colbert in Toxic Relief says these vegetables contain powerful phytonutrients (plant nutrients) that help the liver detoxify chemicals and drugs. They are best eaten raw or steamed. I know those of you who like to boil all the bright color out of your greens don’t want to hear about eating them raw or steamed so here are some things I do with my cruciferous vegetables instead of boiling them:

    Juice them
    You have to play with the combinations or you’ll think you are eating dirt (I had plenty of falls and ate mud pies when I was a child so I do know what dirt tastes like). Make sure you add an apple to help sweeten your combination.

    Soup them
    When you juice these vegetables add a clove or two of garlic with it then warm it up (but don’t boil it). You’ll have a nice tasty soup.

    Stir-Fry them
    Use a little Extra-virgin olive oil on low to medium heat (this oil can’t stand up to high temperatures) to first sauté some onions and maybe some bell peppers and then add any or a mixture of the vegetables with whatever seasoning you wish. I usually only add a little salt and pepper because the onions and oil give the vegetables a good flavor.

    Stir-Fry and Steam them
    For my greens and cabbage, I first sauté some fresh onions, garlic and a small de-seeded jalapeño pepper in some olive oil. Then I add the vegetables with my seasonings and cover the pot, which releases the water from the vegetables and steams them. You must use a non-stick sauce pan or your food will burn.

    Just like Jesus died so we might live, let’s eat the cruciferous vegetables He put on earth so we might live vibrant lives. When you know better so you got to do better.

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    *Prescription for Nutritional Healing, 3rd Edition, by Phyllis A. Balch, CNC and James F. Balch, M.D.

    A Safe Place

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    What Do You Think? Wednesdays

    The other day my sister and I were talking about what makes non-church going folks say “I have to get myself together” and “I don’t have nothing to wear” before they can come to church. Sometimes they claim these are barriers because they want to keep on living the way they’re living, but sometimes they really do think self-help and a Sunday best wardrobe are what they need. Where did they get these notions? I believe folks in the church have created these barriers, ridiculous preconditions that have nothing to do with the soul-saving power of Jesus Christ and the transforming work that He can continually do in our lives. We don’t have the power to get ourselves together and we can never dress up our pain and confusion. But non-church going folks think so, and others, especially we strong black women, do, too.

    Our legacy of strength makes us believe we have to keep ourselves together, never falling apart, never exposing ourselves to the church, the body of Christ, our family, fitly joined together to meet everyone’s needs (Ephesians 4:16). This includes OUR needs. We don’t get help in the church because we don’t want to expose ourselves and, unfortunately, churches don’t want us exposing ourselves. They need us to keep it together to run the ministries we run and some leaders just don’t know how to minister to us. The façade is easier, but no one can play these roles forever. We eventually fall apart in a farther gone place because of too few safe spaces like this website that are so prevalent outside the church. I thank God for my church’s counseling ministry that even has designated times to just walk-in and see a counselor. We even have intimate classes for women taught by strong biblical women. Besides offering these ministries and other sermon-styled women’s ministry functions (that usually don’t allow for transparency and intimacy), what does your church do or what do you think the church needs to do to create safe places for hurting women who think they need to mask their pain? As always, I look forward to hearing from you.

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Get Some Help

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    Some places I just don’t go emotionally. For me they are like taking back alley bike rides: They seem convenient but the potential problems keep me from going there. When I was a bundle of nerves and confusion the other week, I knew I needed to rethink my emotional bike ride theory and figure out how to seek and receive a safe path, whether convenient or not. My problem was I just didn’t know HOW to do that. I don’t have a problem being honest with my feelings, but usually when I am most folks don’t know what to do with what I share. As my friend Carla said, even though I am a recovering strong black woman, people see me as having it all together and don’t usually ask if I need any help; they assume I have it all together. So between folks not knowing how to advise me or assuming I don’t need advice and me not knowing how to get help, I don’t get or expect much help. This doesn’t mean I don’t need or want help; I do. After talking with Carla, I understood what recovering strong black women and their friends can do to get them the help they need:

    Strong Black Women

  • Confess what you’re going through.

    • Even though you may not have gotten help in the past, you don’t know what your confession may yield you. When I told Carla how I felt, she didn’t have anything to offer me in that moment but later she apologized for not asking me if I were okay. She then gave me permission to interrupt her talking about her so we can talk about me.

  • Talk it out.

    • If you are like me you may know that you need help but just not sure what you need. If you talk it out, you may discover what you need to ask for.

  • Ask your friends to let you talk.

    • People who have strong black women as friends take for granted that these friends are supposed to hear all their problems. This is the typical nature of the friendship so you have to speak up for yourself.

  • Know that your friends want to help you.

    • They usually are so grateful for all you’ve done for them that they are willing to help you or work hard to get you the help you need.

    Friends

  • Ask.

    • Make sure to ask your strong black women friends what they are going through. Don’t assume they have it all together.

  • Listen to them.

    • After you ask your friends what’s going on, LISTEN to them. We’ve all had people ask us how we are doing and when we’re honest they don’t even acknowledge what we’ve said but go on to the next subject. Don’t do that. Even if you don’t have advice to offer, at least pray for them in that moment.

  • Seek God.

    • Let Him show you HOW to help your strong black women friends. Even though they may be the ones who usually dispense the advice, God can use you to help them too.

    God means for our relationships to be reciprocal for healing to take place. Let’s do our parts so we can be healed (James 5:16).

    How have you been guilty of not seeking or offering help?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Friday Feature: Roundup One

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    God has placed some awesome natural healing practitioners in my path. Starting today, I plan to roundup some of their articles for a fourth Friday Feature. With my lay experience and their expertise there will be a wealth of information to help us strong black women be strong in body the way God intends for us to be (1 Corinthians 6:19-20.)

    • Dr. Colbert tells us about The Most Important Nutrient in the Body.
    • Dr. Cherry speaks about necessary enzymes in God’s Pathway to Healing for Digestion.
    • Mike Adams, the Health Ranger and editor of NaturalNews.com, says Dangerous Chemicals in Personal Care Products Compromise Health

    • What do you think you might do as a result of reading these articles?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith