Heaviness Lifted


Ever lose something and have to call out a search crew to find it? That was the case Saturday when I couldn’t find my water bottle. Anyone who knows me knows that you rarely see me without my 32 ounce bottle. I refill it throughout the day to make sure I get more than half my body weight in ounces of water. To no avail, three of us couldn’t find my bottle and I had to leave the house without it or chance being late to an event. I felt lost without it. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I kept reaching in the car cup holder and it wasn’t there. I just kept feeling that something was missing. When I returned home I looked again and, thank God, I found my water bottle. After recovering it I felt secure; I felt myself again. The same way I felt without my water bottle—that something essential for my life—is the same way I feel when I lose anything I need, including God’s favor.

Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death (Proverbs 8:33-36).

On July 7, 2010 I lost God’s favor—his pleasure in or delight with me—in one area. This was the day God shared with me three points I needed to share with a friend in an area of her struggle. On that day, or soon after, I shared with her two of the three points. I rationalized that she got the message with the two that I shared and giving her the third would have been overkill, killing her spirit and possibly ending my ability to share with her on that level again. I felt good with what I shared but wondered if she needed to know that last point. On Friday in prayer God made clear that I had to share that point with her, that I “punked out” before and I couldn’t do so this time. Though I was nervous and though she was taken aback that I kept something from her for almost two years, I got out what I failed to share as she shook her head in agreement and said “un, un, un. I receive that.” She then scolded me for holding back something that “I could have been working on for two years.”

After apologizing and committing to never again hold back, I felt free, a great burden lifted that I didn’t even know was weighing me down. Almost immediately I had a great urgency to throw myself into the work of the Lord, something I hadn’t experienced in a while, perhaps two years, perhaps since July 7, 2010 when I received instruction but was unwise by choosing to neglect what I had been instructed to do. That July I lost my blessing for ignoring wisdom, lost favor from God, bringing to myself harm—a lack of joyful motivation to fulfill God’s call on my life, a death of my soul. I had lost God’s favor and didn’t even know I had. But God, who is rich in mercy, doesn’t want to withhold any good thing from me and wants me to choose life, sent out a search party of one—Himself—to dig into my heart to show me that His favor was missing (Ephesians 2:4, Psalm 84:11, Deuteronomy 30:19, Psalm 139:23-24). He wanted to show me that He was not pleased that I was disobedient when He told me clearly what He wanted me to tell my friend. Even in His displeasure God told me what I needed to do to please Him in this area again and He hasn’t stopped blessing me in other areas over the last 20 months. For His great love for me, being mindful of me even in my shortcomings and showing me my version of control was out of control, I am eternally grateful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

491-500
Witnessing a loving family
Cleaning my house without feeling stressed
A rich discipleship meeting full of aha moments
A surprise visit from Sharon (my minister sister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ) and her adding to the richness of my discipleship meeting
One disciple’s comment when learning Sharon was dropping by the meeting: “I looked forward to discipleship. Now I get a double portion.”
A normally reserved discipleship group member opening up during the meeting
My discipleship group celebrating my birthday with food, cake and a Blue Nile gift certificate
Having a rich meeting even while having to manage the children
How Flynn and I support each other in such an easy fashion
Sleeping in

Friday Feature: The Cleansing Power of Water


The other day a great correlation between water and the Holy Spirit came to me. I had been drinking what I thought was a lot of water but my skin still looked horrible. I decided to drink more than usual and for the last few days my skin has been almost flawless. The more water I drink the better my insides are cleansed and the result of the internal cleaning shows up externally. The same thing goes with the Holy Ghost. The more we allow Him to fill us up our insides become clean and the internal cleansing of our spirit then reflects externally on our face, in our attitude, in our speech, in our overall demeanor. We see in Scripture how water is equated to the Holy Spirit, with references to the Spirit being a fountain, well, spring of water, poured and poured out, among others (Proverbs 1:23, Isaiah 12:3, 32:15, Joel 2:28, John 7:37-39). Fountains, wells, springs of water and whatever is poured upon are all consumed with water. The water completely takes over whatever it fills, even to overflowing. The water now dominates. But fountains, wells and springs are meant to have water, be dominated by water. If they don’t have water—if water doesn’t dominate them—we know that something is wrong with them. The same is true for us. We were meant to have water, physical and spiritual, but so many of us don’t like water and do whatever we can to avoid drinking it.

We dress water with lemon or some other flavor to make it palatable. We do the same with the Holy Spirit. We sometimes only accept His ministry by adding to His word to us, maybe rationalizing what we think He meant so that we can receive a portion of what He actually said. But, just like water, the Holy Spirit doesn’t need any additions. God gave us the Holy Spirit, who is perfect and perfect to cleanse us from all unrighteousness if we allow Him to fill us. Pure water has no taste; it’s simply refreshing. We have polluted it, though, by dumping trash and chemical waste in it. As a result, we have had to strip the water of the toxins and then add nutrients to it so we can simulate what God intended for us to have. We do the same with the Holy Spirit. We strip Him of his majesty by fashioning Him in our own image, realize how inadequate our Holy Spirit version is then try to add some super-spiritual sounding ideas to whatever we’re doing and call that the Holy Spirit’s doing. But we can’t “water down” water or the Holy Spirit. They are complete in and of themselves. We need to consume these great resources God has given us to flourish.

So as we drink water I want us to think of it as the Holy Spirit filling us. Each glass we drink is like an infusion of the Holy Ghost traveling through our insides, covering, filling and taking over every part until He is fully seen. We want the Holy Spirit to be seen in us. We must make room for Him by allowing Him the space to operate in us fully so He can be fully seen in us. May the cleansing power of the Holy Spirit do a perfect work in us as we allow Him to consume us (1 Thessalonians 5:19).

Breaking in Your Shoes

Sometimes we have to do what we just don’t want to do: Get out of bed; go to work; cook dinner; drive across town (in rush hour traffic); spend time with the kids after working hard all day; or being friends with someone you’d rather not be bothered with. We sometimes have to do what we don’t want to do because we have been given a divine mandate to stick and stay. We have to keep fighting and we don’t have the option of giving up or walking away. Our lot is clear and no amount of murmuring and complaining will change the fact that sometimes we have to do what we just don’t want to do. Murmuring and complaining about our duties, especially when they’re divinely given, speak loudly to the distrust we have in God to help us endure or even enjoy what we have been given to do. I know I have a hard time fathoming enjoyment when I really feel tortured, but too many times God has shown me the good that comes from enduring a tough situation for me not to try to have a pleasant attitude about something I simply hate.

Some years ago when I had to be friends with someone who was so opposite of me God told me that she was like ‘a pretty pair of new shoes, lovely on the outside but your feet hurt when you put them on.’ Even though this friendship on the surface was one that I thought was just lovely, as we began to go deeper in our relationship, I wanted to take off. Just like kicking off shoes that make your feet hurt, I wanted to end my friendship so I could get some relief from the suspicion and overall insecurity that plagued our relationship. But like breaking in a new pair of shoes, I had to continue “wearing” this friendship until it became comfortable. I couldn’t just expect the friendship to immediately be like my old comfy pair; I had to do some hard walking to break the relationship in. I had to have the hard talks, take the tough words, and work through the rough patches. This is our charge whatever the situation or relationship. When we have a divine mandate, we have to travel the tough terrain knowing that’s the only way change for the better will occur. We can’t be afraid to step on rocks or let our relationship shoes get wet. God will protect our ordered steps. He is the orchestrator of all things divine, and He knows what we need and what it takes to get us there. Sometimes we have to put on some hurting shoes to help us make the journey, and we and the “shoes” will be the better for the wearing.

Been There, Done That

“Been there, done that.” I don’t know who originated that saying but it bothers me. I admit that I am guilty of having used the phrase myself, but stopped after people have used it in conversations with me that seem belittling. Most times folks’ use of the colloquialism was not the thought of “I can’t go back into that foolishness” but the declaration of “You’re still there? I’m past that stage.” People who are conquerors, recovering strong black women among them, sometimes forget that as Christians we are MORE than conquerors but only so through Jesus Christ (Romans 8:37). He deserves the credit for every hurdle we jump, every river we roll through, and every storm we survive, for us being alive. “Been there, done that” just seems to place the focus on us and not God who has worked through us. Maybe it’s just me, but you can read more about my thoughts in my latest EEW article where I discuss people’s use of “Been there, done that” in the context of parenting and a suggested biblical response for handling those who use the phrase to belittle you. The column focus is on parenting but has broader applications. Read it and make your comments here on the blog or feel free to comment on the magazine site. I am thankful for a God-given response to “Been there, done that” belittlement so I can maintain my Christian testimony even in this area.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#481-490
Leslie’s book of poems arriving in the mail
Dinner with friends to celebrate my birthday at Benihana
My wonderful husband for planning my birthday celebration (his first time in 14 years)
Flowers from the Criners, bringing a touch of spring in my home
My iPhone arriving
A letter from Daniel (a thank you note and a small picture)
Studying 2 Peter 1 early and getting an outline for the discipleship lesson
Josh and Nate using their manners with and helping each other
Getting my blog done without stress
Visiting a friend at the hospital

Friday Feature: Three Amazing Thoughts

As you may know I completed a raw food program last month and experienced amazing results, including a 17 pound drop in weight. I feel lighter physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In my post My Raw Food Journey, I listed some general things I had learned, including new food preparations and philosophies. During the program’s conference calls I would share some of the delightful and surprising changes that happened to me while on the program: Being full fast and having amazing energy where I no longer need to take naps. I didn’t understand what with raw foods made me so full eating so little and being so energized, but the program director let gave me these reasons:

1) Raw food metabolizes faster than cooked food so it gives your body its needed nutrients quickly and thus signals to the brain that your stomach is full.
2) The body can break down raw food easier because the digestive enzymes that are necessary for this process are still intact. Most of these enzymes, however, are destroyed when cooking food. When eating cooked foods, the body has to work harder to digest these because the body has to produce digestive enzymes that should come from the consumed food. This is the reason you may want to go to sleep after a meal, particularly a big one. Whereas with raw foods, the normal digestive process takes place, leaving you with energy to expend on activities instead of on breaking down food.

When I told her my plan was not to be 100 percent raw, she suggested I make sure to eat some raw food along with my cooked food for the following reason: She said for whatever reason the body reacts to cooked foods like a foreign invader and the body works hard to rid itself of the foreign invader like it would a virus. If you eat raw food along with cooked food, the body no longer treats the cooked food like a foreign invader. Of the three theories she gave, this one gave me pause. I have yet to research any of her theories for scientific support, but my empirical evidence can testify to what she has said, even on this last thought. I cooked some black eyed peas last night and ate some with some tabbouleh; I felt fine. I ate some more peas today with some carrot slaw; I felt fine; I ate two spoonfuls of peas alone and my stomach was upset. It was in knots and hurt something awful. Again, I haven’t checked out the science behind my director’s statements but my hunger satisfaction, energy and physical comfort agree with her words. Science or no science, I like how my body is working with the good, uncooked foods I have been eating. If you have yet to try more raw foods in your diet, perhaps try to eat at least one raw food with your cooked foods. You definitely don’t have anything to lose (except for unwanted weight) and, as I have experienced, much to gain.