Living this life can be tough. We all have so many responsibilities that seeking to manage them all indeed is more than a full-time job. Juggling several responsibilities often leads to a high level of stress and can cause us to handle issues out of their proper order just to get them done. For recovering strong black women, who have traditionally made things happen their own way, following another’s design for order may not be something we are inclined to want to do. But God has an order for all things, including marriage, and expects us to follow. I am so grateful God has continually impressed on my heart the importance of marriage though I have stumbled at times with putting it first. Read more of what I have to say about the primacy of marriage, for married and single women, in my latest EEW Column, which begins below:
I wake up rushed many days, having slept longer than I wanted, keeping me from having a few hours alone before the children arise. On these days we rise within 20 minutes or so of each other because I have stayed up late hanging out with my night-owl hubby. This wasn’t always the case. While I worked hard in some areas to have a strong marriage, like seeking to be gentle in my speech, I was a stickler about going to bed at 9 p.m., well before Flynn wanted to call it a night.
I wanted to be able to wake up at 4 a.m. to have half the morning to myself to pray, study the Bible, clean the house and help my husband get off to work. I would spend the rest of the day pouring into the children and in the evening I was too wiped out to talk much beyond children updates, let alone have regular physical intimacy with my husband. Though my husband and I have always been good friends, I knew there was a level of closeness we didn’t have and I knew it was because we both had opted for me to rest from being so tired from giving to the children. Even on this “small” scale we, without even being conscious of it, were allowing the children to pull our marriage apart by putting their needs above our own.
Maybe you can relate to this because this happened to your parents or is happening to you. Most of your hours are spent doing for the children, carting them to this practice and that program, assisting with homework and engaging in the everyday life of nurturing children. Yes, our children need us, but we can’t put our children before our marriage, be that marriage to a spouse or, for single women, to God. And when Christian marriages are torn apart, the Kingdom of God is torn apart. Read more at EEW Magazine.
My One Thousand Gifts List
Editing an article for a website
Skinning and seasoning chicken with amazing quickness
Flynn grocery shopping
Being able to iron Flynn’s clothes for church
Justus lying on my chest after nursing
Justus holding my finger, leading me to the den and not wanting to let go
Great, clear direction from God
A fast and informative blog post
An interview on the Chocolate Pages Network
Kamil picking up and babysitting the boys so I could go to court